It was a still, dark summer night.
He sat alone on the terrace, waiting for her,
knowing she would be there any moment.
He needed her company, to revive his tired body
and soul. Suddenly he felt her, lovingly, ruffling his hair,
her refreshing coolness surrounding him,
Banishing the beads of sweat from his brows
Yes, again you have kept the suspense till the last line. I was wondering who he is waiting for so eagerly. Wish someone would wait for me so eagerly sometimes(joking). All in all, you are becoming a pro in 55 words fiction as well as poetic form of 55 word fiction. After reading the last line and when finally it dawned on me that you are talking about the cool breeze in a still summer night., oh, lovely. I felt the cool breeze touch my sweaty face and neck and body and I felt the coolness and the joy spread through me. It reminded me of the summer evenings we spent in our terrace sitting and talking and waiting for the breeze to touch us. Loved it Johna, is there any need for me to encourage you to keep writing?? No. I don’t think so.. So looking forward to reading one more post soon.
ReplyDeleteSue
You should start naming this form of writing as 55 poetic fiction :D... To mke something poetic in just 55 words is not a small task and you seem to have mastered it !..
ReplyDeleteLike it goes with all your posts, couldn't guess it till the very end !
There's nothing like the cool breeze on a hot summer day and especially when beads of sweat cling to you , making irritable, a whiff of breeze is all you want to embrace !
Awaiting more of your 55 word- poetic- fiction-puzzles :D
Nice one, Dada... reminds me of my days in Gurgaon when I'd sit on my 11th floor balcony and await the cool breeze that whisked away all forms of tiredness :)
ReplyDeleteProbably that is why I was able to guess this one in a jiffy :p
But I agree with Amo - you must rename this version of 55 fiction as 55 poetic fiction! Keep going!