THE JEALOUS ONE ........

He stood in the balcony, eyes filled with tears and looked down at the beautiful woman,whom he loved more than any thing else in this world, walking away with her new found love in her arms. She turned and  looked up at him and gave him the  most  beautiful smile as she waved good bye. His heart throbbed. He wanted to call out to her and say “Please don’t leave me! Don’t go, what will I do without you?! I need you !” But he was choked & no words came out of his lips, he  was heart broken , his heart ached , while tears just kept rolling  down his cheeks. This was the first time his heart was broken, the first time he felt real pain, the very first time he felt  the intense feeling of jealousy , jealousy that left him with a feeling of silent rage,  it was like  a fire burning inside him which even his tears couldn’t put out, tormenting him,. His mind kept searching for an answer, how could she do this to him ! Leave him for some one who had just come into her life a few months ago, it was not fair, just not fair at all.He was jealous of the new love which she had in her life.

Soon she was out of his sight. Then he yelled out, “I want her back, I can’t live without her! Please bring her back for me!” The ones around him tried to console him, that he shouldn’t worry, they told him she’d be back very soon, that she really loved him. All their consoling and trying to comfort him just didn’t work. He sobbed till there were no more tears left, and he fell asleep when he was totally exhausted.

 The year 1957, the month December, I was hardly a little over 2 years old at the time. The beautiful woman, my mother, was leaving with my little baby brother in her arms, he must have been about 5 - 6 months old at that time. She was leaving me for the first time, and that too for a few days, to go to Cal ( Calcutta ,now Kolkata ) for some Christmas shopping . But how can a 2 year old’s heart understand all this, all the pain? The fear & all those tears and most of all this burning rage & jealousy I experienced towards my little brother? YES THAT’S ME, I WAS THE JEALOUS ONE.

This is one of  most poignant memories I have of my childhood which I can still recall, it’s almost 54 years  since this happened but  its still  very vivid, and real. I can see my mother, the most beautiful woman I have ever seen, there's no one like her in this whole universe.And I loved her and still love her till this day. But when ever I think of that particular day, I can still feel the pain, the heart-ache, the rage, the jealousy. I guess, I’m still the jealous one.

AND DREAMS COME TRUE.......

THIS IS  A LOVE STORY, IT STARTED 30 YEARS AGO………..

THEN I WAS YOUNG, I WAS LONELY,

 BUT I WAS A DREAMER,

 I DREAMED OF  LOVE

& SOMEONE WHO’LL LOVE ME & ME ONLY

I HAD  GOOD FRIENDS, BUT A VERY FEW

I LOVED GOOD BOOKS ,MUSIC &  MOVIES TOO

THEN ONE DAY  FROM OUT OF THE BLUE

I MET THIS BEAUTIFUL GIRL

WHOM IT SEEMED I ALWAYS KNEW,

SHE STEPPED STRAIGHT IN TO MY HEART,

AS IF SHE KNEW RIGHT FROM THE START,

IT WAS THE   PLACE,

FOR WHICH ONLY SHE HELD THE KEY,

I KNEW FROM THAT MOMENT

LOVE HAD HAPPENED TO ME

SHE BECOME MY SOUL MATE, MY BEST FRIEND

WE  SHARED OUR VIEWS  ON AUTHORS, BOOKS,

MOVIES …. THE  TOPICS NEVER SEEMED TO END

I TOLD HER “A FRIEND IS A PRESENT YOU GIVE TO YOURSELF”

SHE WAS & WILL BE THE ONE ,WITH WHOM I DON’T HAVE TO PRETEND

DAYS WERE LIKE A DREAM  WITH HER  NEAR AND AROUND ME

I’VE BEEN LUCKY  'CAUSE I FOUND HER AND THEN LOVE FOUND ME 

EVENINGS WERE THE TIME TO PART,

LEAVING ME WITH A HEAVY HEART,

NIGHTS WERE  LIKE MAGIC WITH HER  MEMORIES  TO SURROUND ME

OH  HOW CAN I EXPLAIN THE FEELING OF LOVE ?

IT’S SOMETHING MAGICAL?, DIVINE?  IT COME FROM ABOVE?

ONE CAN’T  FIND THE WORDS TO EXPRESS IT

BUT WHEN TRUE LOVE COMES TO YOU, IT COMES ON

THE WINGS OF A DOVE

SHE WAS THE ONE WHO CHANGED MY LIFE,

IT WAS NOT VERY LONG BEFORE WE BOTH SAID

“I LOVE YOU ”

 SO WE WALKED DOWN THE AISLE TO SAY

“I DO”

AND WE BECAME MAN & WIFE

BUT BEFORE THIS THERE WAS TROUBLE WITH PARENTS AND FRIENDS

THE WHOLE WORLD WAS TRYING TO TELL US IT’S WRONG

BUT  WE KNEW  THIS WOULD PASS IF WE JUST STOOD  STRONG

THOSE  WERE JUST  THE TRIALS AND TESTS OF OUR LOVE,

  AND WE KNEW THAT TRUE LOVE ALWAYS WINS IN THE END

I MUST CONFESS, THERE HAVE BEEN ROUGH TIMES,

HEARTACHES  & HEARTBREAKS, ALONG WITH THE GOOD TIMES

BUT EVEN THROUGH THOSE DARK DAYS OF GLOOM

OUR LOVE  STILL PREVAILS, OUR LOVE ALWAYS SHINES

AND WE STARTED A FAMILY  

AS TIME PASSED BY WE BUILT ‘FANTASIA ’OUR HOME

WHERE  IT  FEELS A  LITTLE BIT LIKE HEAVEN , WE CALL IT OUR OWN

IT’S STILL THE PLACE WHERE LOVE & HAPPINESS, CARING & SHARING 

HAVE GROWN LIKE A GREAT OAK TREE

SHE GAVE ME ALL THE HAPPINESS I  REALLY NEVER  KNEW

I COULD ALWAYS SEE HER LOVE IN EVERY THING  SHE’D DO

SHE GAVE ME  ALL HER LOVE ,HER TRUST

WITH ALL THE UNDERSTANDING AND CARE

TWO WONDERFUL GIFTS WHOM WE CHERISH,EVERY DAY

EVERY THING SEEMS  COMPLETE  IN THIS WONDERFUL WORLD WE SHARE

IT’S 28 YEARS, SINCE THAT DAY WE BOTH SAID ‘ I DO’

AND I STILL LOVE HER LIKE CRAZY,AND I KNOW SHE DOES TOO

THIS IS ALL I CAN THINK OF OR  I WANT TO SAY

SHE’S MY DREAM COME TRUE SHE’S MY LIFE

SHE’S IN MY LIFE, FOREVER TO STAY

HAPPY ANNIVERSARY TO YOU, SUE,

THIS IS OUR LOVE STORY SO SIMPLE,  BUT TRUE,

I WANT YOU TO KNOW , I’LL ALWAYS LOVE YOU

YOU ARE THE  REASON MY DREAMS HAVE COME TRUE

AND YOU MUST BE KNOWING THAT I STILL ADORE YOU

JOHN

29.11.2011